Posts Tagged ‘New Year’s resolution’

A story – The woman who said Fuck You

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

She’d gotten up early that morning and began the day walking up and down the stairs of the three floors of her house shouting one phrase, “Fuck you.”

She said it with vigor. “Fuck you!” She said it on every floor. Three fuck you’s, one per floor. And every one she meant. She did it again. Three floors, one phrase. Almost methodically. As though she was a business person with a To Do list, or a mad woman who had stopped taking her medication and could feel again.

She had a fuck-you for every floor of the house.

She only half-owned the house with somebody who was no longer there. So all her fuck you’s were for the house. For all the friends who said they loved her but didn’t. And for all the love spoken about but might as well have been shouted fuck you’s.

She continued going up and down the stairs, slowing a bit, getting tired, with time and redundancy. Eventually, the fuck you’s were coming out with less conviction. They were evolving from wrath to bathos.

The New Year was fast approaching and soon she knew she would be be shaking off the dust of her annual resolution. Which was, “If things don’t get better, in ten years I will kill myself.” But things were going to be different this year. She was turning over a new leaf. This year, her resolution would be, “In nine years I will kill myself.” The preface of her phrase, If things don’t get better had received its unbending answer for years. Now “in nine years” was a plain and simple resolution.

On the third floor she stopped yelling fuck you. She stopped after fuck and never got to the last you. Her decision causing an abrupt warped peace.

She went to the kitchen on the second floor to make herself some breakfast. Like a placid condemned being eating her last meal. The first of the last for the next nine years.