Posts Tagged ‘Vincent Eaton’

A video of my story RED BALL

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012



A couple of years ago I posted a short-short story called Red Ball, which became rather popular and got comments like “breathtaking” and “This is great. Really creepy!” and “YES! Creepy… for sure.” and “Creepy is the word! Especially the 4th corner.” You can read the original story here.


Now I have gone and made a short video of it. I narrate it. You can see it by clicking on this sentence.


That’s it. Thanks for coming by. V+

T-shirts (finally, at last, in spite of all)

Monday, December 19th, 2011




In my clumsy, icky way, I’m “announcing” something I have thought and developed over ten years. Working with graphic designers and my brain for something I was calling stories on stuff. T-shirts designs and…whatever designs…. Couldn’t ever quite get it right to my fussy satisfaction. Kept delaying getting it out there. Wanted it to be perfect. Shot myself in the foot, both of them, feet, bang and bang. With big plans and great hesitation.


Enough. I say, enough.


If you are in the USA, North America generally, even the Americas, click right here to have a look!.


If you are in Europe or (what they call in the USA) “the rest of the world”, click right here to have a look see.


See if you like something you see.


I’ll get fancy, and develope this, and make videos, and broaden the graphic artists I work with, and work with different materials and outlets and ideas and soon comes polite babies and impolite adults and more kiddie things and in your face as well as on your back…but the main thing is, it is finally out there, out before Christmas (waaaaaaaaaaaay too late, but this was my deadline and I’m hitting it even if it is hitting me back), and and and, that’s it, for now.


Thanks for whatever you are about to do….


STORY – A Last Artistic Statement

Thursday, December 15th, 2011



Experimentally, gingerly, for the first and last time in his life, the artist known as Smithy lifted his right eyelid, placed his right forefinger near the top of his left eyeball and gently but firmly drove that sucker around the orb and smack into his brain.
Once there, he tickled the frontal cortex gently. Something somewhere in him giggled. It was painful but that was where the jokes were located.
He pushed on.


As his finger dug toward the middle of his brain, he began to loose control of his legs. He sat, suddenly, down. His finger, playing at being a brain elevator, rose to the top of his brain, his skull, pushing lightly at various stimulating gray matter as it went, replaying his many memories. His past, his present, not much of his future. Many of his past pleasures were tucked up in there and he briefly fingered their joys, disappointments and the why why whys that still echoed and generally fumed darkly in there.
He moved on, his finger making a left turn at the rear of his brain where he came into a dense layer of smut he had always kept hidden, tucked back in there, just for emergencies. It throbbed and mutated and performed a lascivious dance just for him, as it always reliably did.
But he had no time for these varied once happily anticipated stimulations, as the thrusting journey his finger was taking had made his groin unresponsive, as his dick, his anus, his flaccid sack of lazy balls lolled lackadaisical, finished for good.


He did manage, before passing out of this life and into esoteric choices he would be surprised he would have to make on the other side of this worldly existence, he bumped up against the back of his skull. His fingernail scraped here, against the skull, and, as a last treat, and as a last idea, he went in for some inner urban art.
With his fingernail he scratched letters. It was hard going as his body was now giving up major motor functions at an alarming rate. He was blind, could not speak, and the hearing was dimming—no, there, it too was now gone.
As he died, as he slumped, as his spirit floated, as required, above his body, looking down, his finger gave up its ghost and slipped out of the gray matter, falling out of his head, his eyes boggling, leaving behind, distantly, on the inner wall of his damaged, lights-out brain, the simple ego words on the inside of his skull,
“Smithy was here.”

FUNNY HAHA about HOW TO FIND YOURSELF (or a reasonable facsimile)

Friday, December 9th, 2011



See my latest video right here, right now CLICK CLICK CLICK HERE HERE HERE….


Might have noticed. Christmas time. I’m in hustle mode. I made another video, about my How To book. It’s jokey! It’s short. It’s for all those people you care about…even those you don’t. What am I saying, slow person? BUY THIS BOOK for friends/family/enemy/guru/neighbor/alien entities. Whoever. Whatever. Buy forever.


GO HERE to see and hear more — and buy–print or ebooks!


Main Idea:
The aim of this book is to supply readers with practical examples and helpful hints as to how to spot, understand, and instill a real sense of self in your innermost being. Yeah, really. This book’s contents should lead readers with a more practical self-knowledge, peace of mind, spiritual nurturing, fuzzy thinking, and strange sexual longings you really should just keep to yourself.

5/5 – Rejection: Victor Gollancz Ltd. Publishers

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE VIDEO CLICK HERE





Victor Gollancz Ltd, UK Publishers, once wrote in rejecting my novel Self-Portrait of Someone Else: “I was very struck by it; it’s an extraordinarily powerful piece of work.”


Here’s the actual letter:






The letter in pdf:
Victor Gollancz Ltd. rejection letter in pdf





I can take the pain. Here’s a one-minute video to prove it: CLICK HERE TO WATCH


Find the book here: “SELF-PORTRAIT OF SOMEONE ELSE






This is the fifth (and last) in a video series of this great, good book getting its backside kicked. Onward to indie publishing.


Here’s the previous video I did on this theme….

Story – Some Animal Warmth

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011




The man shuffled into my office to tell his troubles. He sat down where I had to look at him.


Taxes were ruining him, his wife didn’t understand things, his bills were piling up, he didn’t like the weather, his car was on the bum, his children avoided him, a pet hamster had died.


“Even my cat committed suicide,” he said. “He went in the road during the night to fight a truck. The truck won. Found him next morning, his head all flat, his brains shooting out his ear holes like grey toothpaste. It nearly broke my heart. We buried it and the hamster together in a spot in the backyard. My kids prayed, and then looked at me as if it were my fault. I didn’t know what to tell them. God, why …why my cat?”


He sat there, waiting for an answer.


“Did I ever tell you about the dog I had when I was a kid?”
I didn’t want to hear this.
“He was a big cuddly mutt named Elmer.”
Now I really didn’t want to hear this.
“Fred,” I interrupted. “You’re in no state to talk about a dog from your childhood. Especially if his name was Elmer. It’ll only depress you further.”
“Old Elmer,” my friend mumbled, as though he hadn’t heard my warning. But something must have gotten through, because he changed the subject. “They say it’s going to rain.”
“They’re often as wrong as they’re right,” I said.
“I know,” he replied. “Can’t trust anyone these days.”
I tried to change the subject. “How’s—?”
“Don’t ask,” he interrupted. “Don’t make me think about it. Let’s just sit here in silence in some animal warmth.”


We were sitting together like that for about five minutes, me getting impatient to get back to my work, Fred comforted by the warmth, when the boss walked in and said,
“Say, have you seen the report on … oh, Fred, hello. How are you?”
“My cat’s dead,” Fred said. He got up and walked to the door. “Elmer’s long-gone, too.” And he left.
My boss said, “Who’s Elmer?”
“You really want to know about it?”
He did. He was the boss. It was his job to know about such things. So I told him.


After hearing everything, he was silent for a long while.
“I had a dog named Buster who died when I was a kid.”
Sharing some more animal warmth was about to happen in my office again, and it wasn’t even nine thirty-five in the morning on a Monday.

Video of the illustrated version of my humor book “How to Find Yourself (or a reasonable facsimile)”

Thursday, October 20th, 2011




First there was my “How to find yourself (or a reasonable facsimile)”—-now there comes the real live super exciting mind-blowing not nearly over-hyped enough ILLUSTRATED VERSION of this classic that’s only been around a year or two (in its non-illustrated version).


So I made a video about it. To give my massive fan base a slurpy mouth-watering idea of the laughs and joy and the by god sheer freshness and marketing adjective marketing adjective marketing adjective so that each and every one of you and you and you won’t be able to contain yourselves and go buy one. Or two. Or more. For friends, relatives and those smarter, more upmarket pets of yours.



Buy
the ebook
or
print book



Oh, and see the video. Of course. Click here to view it and bring a little joy in your flippant modern day heart.


Thanks for reading to this discursive advertising message that wasn’t.


I’m done here for now.

Losing a Glove – Vincent Eaton reads a poem by Jeannette Cook

Thursday, October 6th, 2011




Recently I made a short video based on a poem, “Losing a Glove,” written by a friend of mine, Jeannette Cook.


I have edited another slightly different version of the video, and read the poem myself.


The incidental music is by Explosions in the Sky, from the CD Memorial (track is “Memorial”).


You can see / hear it by clicking on this sentence!


You can hear Jeannette read it in a slightly different video cut & music, if you missed it the first time around: Jeannette Cook reads the same poem, “Losing a Glove”.


Thanks for coming by. – Vincent

Dubbing for Julie Delpy

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Last Friday, getting over an illness, I hauled my buns into a darkened recording studio where five other Belgian-based Americans gathered. We were there to be part of hubbub crowd scenes in Julie Delpy’s next feature film .“2 Days in New York”.


Usually for such work, someone connected to the film tells you when to make what kind of sounds or words that will be crafted as a sort of background soundscape by the sound engineer. For this film, there were scenes in restaurants, airports, gallery openings, and suchlike. The talent tries to make it fun, knowing we will end up as unrecognizable background.


So we sat down, all six of us, three men, three women, lined up in chairs, with me taking one on the end near the door in the event I felt something physical coming on from my illness. It was going to be a three to four hour session. We started with a woman suggesting, and it became your-turn, my-turn, our-turn, doing variations of sentences or conversational improv, until about forty-five minutes in, we had an entrance.


Light suddenly streamed into the darkened room and a woman saying, in French, “There are no taxis in Brussels. I called at 8:45 for a taxi and was told there would be none until 10:00. No taxis in Brussels. Impossible! Sorry I am late. How is it going?” It was Julie Delpy, writer-directer-actress-singer.





Okay, this was unusual. And she took off her coat, took control, and wanted to see what we had done, saying bonjour and started adjusting what had already happened. She took up residence at the table next to me. She was not well, wore no make-up or attempt at actress glamor and placed a see-through plastic bag of medicines before her. I felt empathy.


Often, between takes, she was sticking sprays up her nose, blowing said nose, sucking on a throat lozenge, taking a pill, digging around in her bag for something extra. I remarked, “I see you brought your pharmacy.” That lead to talking illnesses going around. Never heard her complain once about her feeling bad, although while waiting for the engineer to find the next scene I’d glance over and she’d be holding her head bent into her hands, very still.


Mentioning illness, she talked of her mother dying from cancer two years ago, and her own giving up smoking last year (“I began smoking when I was 14”), and the horror of her mother going through chemo, and “it may have been worse than her disease.” Then we speculated on how DNA and cigarettes impact, and diet. I told her my grandmother smoked until she was 65, gave them up and died of natural caused in her sleep at 96. “See!” she said. “It’s all a roll of the dice,” I replied.


Before working on a scene, we watched each individual scene to get a sense of it. Many of the scenes everyone laughed quite heartily (it’s a nervous comedy from what I saw). It must have pleased her, since we were, in a way, her first test audience, and I glanced and she was smiling at the laughter. There was one scene in a restaurant where the man playing her character’s father (her father in real life) complains that the prices on the menu was so high. Her character replies something like, “It’s not euros, dad, it’s dollars. They are not worth anything. So order whatever you want.” Our little audience roared, and Julie mentioned that many in the USA didn’t get that joke, “They say, what is so funny? Which is funny.” Seems even in Hollywood they don’t get the dollar’s weakness abroad. She said, “Everyone outside the USA always gets it and laughs.“


Later on, when there was a technical breakdown, a microphone going mysteriously screwy, I turned to Julie and asked, “So, “Before Sunrise”, “Before Sunset”. When’s the next one?” She said that after this film she was going to begin working on the script. “But I have no ideas. I don’t know what to write. I have nothing more to say about relationships. I don’t know anything about relationships. I want to write about computers and aliens, things that explodes. Anything, just not relationships!” She paused. “But Ethan will have ideas. He always has ideas. That will help. I need a couple of months break.”


I can report that Julie Delpy’s fingerprints will be on every sound mumble and frame of the film because she really does care. There was not one moment when she wasn’t completely frank, spontaneous and enthusiastic. Couldn’t detect any artifice. As the dubbing progressed, she made real effort to get everyone’s name, and had them all by the end of the dubbing session. She was unrelentingly kind, treating us all like artistic colleagues, and even accepted some script change suggestions. “Americans say pictures, not photos,” someone remarked, and she replied, “Really? Okay.”


I departed thinking highly of this talented artist, and I hope her film is extremely successful so she’ll be given the budget to make one with high-tech exploding gadgets that go off whenever some character says the word “relationship”.


End note


To quote Roger Ebert, the film critic, “…Julie Delpy is an original, a woman who refuses to be defined or limited. Her first great roles were in Bertrand Tavernier’s “Beatrice” (1987), Agnieszka Holland’s “Europa Europa” (1990) and Krzysztof Kieslowski’s “White” (1994); she was in Linklater’s “Before Sunrise” “Waking Life” and “Before Sunset” and she dumped Bill Murray at the beginning of Jim Jarmusch’s “Broken Flowers.” In between, she studied film at NYU and made herself available for 30 student productions.”


Lastly:
If you want to get a quick idea of her humor, CLICK HERE.

Losing a Glove – Jeannette Cook reads her poem

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011




I a have poet friend. Of some years standing. She wrote a poem I liked, and she agreed to allow me to put together a video of it.


The poem is called “Losing a Glove.” The poet is Jeannette Cook.


I took a year to take the photos.


The incidental music is by Bjork, from the CD Volta (track “pneumonia”).


You can see and hear it by clicking right here.


I’ll be posting another version, with my reading the poem, shortly.


We did this before, with a poem called Button.


Thanks for coming by. – Vincent