Story – Suicidal Tendancies



Sam: I don’t really want to kill myself.
David: What changing your mind?
Sam: Lack of commitment.
David: Not a lack of desire?
Sam: Oh no, not really. I have lots of that, of desire for ending it. I know Death is just waiting for me, and I’m starting to get used to wanting to go there. Like making it a goal.
David: But not making the effort?
Sam: I make efforts.
David: Such as?
Sam: I fell in love again last month, bought some non-organic supermarket food, and decided to vote in the next election. I make efforts to go on living, man.
David: Your efforts qualify more as self-destructive, not so much suicidal.
Sam: Ya think?
David: My opinion merely.
Sam: So what would be suicidal?
David: Getting married, eating the crap food you bought and actually voting.
Sam: Right. So I have to make more of a serious effort?
David: More than you’re making, yeah.
Sam: Shit.
David: You said you fell in love. Last month.
Sam: Yeah, I fell in love but with life.
David: And life’s not in love with you?
Sam: Not a lot of cuddles, nope.
David: Oh.
Sam: Life’s got no sense of long-term commitment.
David: Feel like you’re just one more thing its programmed to do?
Sam: Man you can be depressing.
David: How’s am I worse than your suicidal tendencies?
Sam: Maybe I want to end my life but I don’t necessarily want to be morbid about it.
David: An upbeat self-killing?
Sam: Now you’re mocking me.
David: Okay. Right. So, when’s this happening?
Sam: Sooner rather than latter.
David: Time is variable when it comes to killing yourself, that it?
Sam: Making fun of me again?
David: Well, just, like, commit and have a schedule. Then it gets serious.
Sam: How can I plan when you’re trying to depress me!
David: I thought I was just helping you clarify.
Sam: You mean, like a friend?
David: Exactly. Like a friend.
Sam: Then why are you being so negative? Why don’t you try to talk me out of it?
David: That’s what you want?
Sam: No.
David: So then what do you want from me?
Sam: Nothing.
David: You got it. That’s what friends are for. To respond to needs.
Sam: Just shut up. Be quiet.
David: mmm
Sam: That’ s better. (Silence) Much better. (Silence) Peaceful. (Silence. And then more silence)

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3 Responses to “Story – Suicidal Tendancies”

  1. What’s with the suicide stories this week?
    This works well as a dialogue-only story, particularly when I worked out what was really happening. It’s pretty scary; even more so when you consider this kind of situation is so common. Good work and a different kind of #fridayflash read. Keeps it interesting.

  2. Celeste says:

    “Life’s got no sense of long-term commitment.”

    LOVE that line.

  3. Peter Holbrook says:

    You’ve done this before. Maybe you should compile a group of suicide stories. “To be or not to be.” Interesting because suicidal attempts are more often internal monologues. Here we have a dramatic monologue, of sorts. I’m glad we didn’t have discussion while you were visiting. Not sure who would play Sam and who would play David.

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